WAR BOUNDARIES - CYBERBULLYING

 A few days ago I found myself in an unusual situation, I entered a certain TeamSpeak to greet old friends, I entered a crowded chanel and I met a person who introduced himself to me as follows

- “Hi Michi, do you remember me? I'm the guy who stalked you when we were war enemies. " I honestly did not remember him specifically because being a woman, being harassed in video games is something that never ends and it is not just one or two, there are dozens of men and women, anonymous and not anonymous doing it. An uncomfortable "hmm" escaped me while I was thinking and I noticed that the guy, realizing that I didn't remember him, started to get nervous and continued: -I'm the one who trolled you Oberon, who took skull whenever I saw you on your maker when you hunted and insulted you, well you know that is nothing personal ... "Bingo" I had a vague memory of this individual, I will not lie that it felt very strange to be in a chanel with one of your hardest haters, listening to his human voice ... at this moment I realized that I do not think about those people as human beings, I do not attribute a voice or a personality to them and indeed it was strange to realize that this person really exists face to face. Despite vaguely remembering it, I did not want to give him the satisfaction and I concluded by saying: -The truth is that I don't remember you, you were just one more of many. -Well, it was already, as I told you…. I hope you do not take it personally, it was not, it was simply my duty to be in a guild against I had to try to break you psychologically, you understand ... it is simply part of the psychological war of tibia - The guy told me ... ... "What?" The rest of this conversation does not need to be detailed, my boyfriend came in and insulted him, his friends told him to shut up and I kept quiet just processing this information. Because actually what would you say to someone who has told you all this? According to the statistics provided by The Gamer, at least 57% of women have been victims of hate attacks or harassment in video games and let me say that of this 57% the following occurs: Of the girls who are very good at their game , 26% have been accused of having hacks, cheats or bots to play, 54% on the other hand have been in a situation where they are asked for sexual favors (sexual harassment) and of the total 69% of these girls have considered giving up the game session.

I will be as clear as possible, although these statistics reflect the behavior and reality of day to day in the gaming environment, it does not mean that this is correct. Seeing these figures may seem trivial, unimportant because we are used to hearing, seeing and even participating in their favor; however let me transfer you to the same situation but opposite context. What about people who cyberbully others? How are their mental faculties ?. In the following graph taken by PositivePsychology.com we explain the traumas that an individual experienced before becoming a cyberbully.

9% refer to boys who abuse alcohol or drugs, 14% suffer from an eating disorder, 20% do not attend classes, 25% commit actions that damage their physical well-being, 26% have suicidal thoughts, 37% suffer from depression, 41% has developed social anxiety.

I understand that because of the culture of sexism we tend to reduce the female impact, but what do you think after introducing you to the male counterpart? Returning to the story of the hater in TeamSpeak and after having learned this information, that being a "stalker" or "bully" is not part of the "normality" of the game, it is not "a strategy of war" there is no such thing as attacking psychologically to a person until they give up and if it exists, the one who really has the problem is the stalker. The one who has problems with self-esteem, acceptance and depression is the person who performs these actions and there are solutions for that (therapy). In my case and in that of many girls, I do not give a name, nor do I imagine a voice to a hater, for me it is just another individual on the internet with real problems that tries to transmit them to others and when my time session, war or server ends; no, I don't remember them again - as in this case. However, it is clear that they do remember us and remember where, how, when they insulted / harassed you; It seems as this would even be chasing them, don't you think? Cyberbullying affects many, however today I learned that one could be found on this situation and just let it go, because we do not know the stalker, we do not see them, they do not exist ... However, the bully took the time to know enough to judge you, He spent hours accumulating hatred, frustration that he disguises as fun but does not fool the subconscious. He keeps it inside him and you just let it go while his mind harbors negative emotions disguised as fun. You ask yourself what is wrong with having negative thoughts? "I'm having fun and that's it", because let me tell you that it is not so ... A study demonstrated by PositivePsychology. com shows that harboring negative emotions puts you on a routine repetition wheel, imagine a spiral of negativity, which is actually called "rumination." According to Dr. Izard B, (2009) The problem with rumination is that it increases the stress response circuitry of your brain, which means that your body is unnecessarily flooded with the stress hormone cortisol. There is considerable evidence that this is a driver of clinical depression (Izard, 2009). Subsequent research has linked the tendency to ruminate with a number of harmful coping behaviors, such as overeating, smoking, and alcohol consumption, along with consequences for physical health, including insomnia, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and clinical anxiety and depression (Gerin et al, 2012, Dimsdale, 2008, Everson et al, 1998). Rumination can be a difficult loophole to break out of, especially since most people do not realize that they are stuck in the rumination routine and instead believe that they are actively taking care of their emotions (Yapko, 2015). This can lead to additional implications for mental and physical well-being. And well friends, if you thought that this article was about the victims of cyberbullying ... you were correct. While one doesn't hold what the haters have to offer, the other keeps it, accumulates it and deteriorates themselves little by little. They do not forget to have insulted you because it is not something trivial for them, it is a condition that with each insult they dismantled one more cell in their integral well-being and they don't even realized it.

-Michi